There are five levels of communication. [See previous article.] Yet many couples rarely if ever venture past level one. Closeness and bondedness become greater with each successive level. Therefore, it would be a positive development in your marriage if you and your partner learned about these levels and make an effort to deepen your communication with one another.
Level one communication involves discussing facts and information. [See related article.] It is vital to share daily experiences with one another and discuss the logistics of life together. But, this type of communication alone does not result in the type of intimacy and connectedness that is crucial to strong relationships.
Level two communication involves discussing ideas of others. This level moves beyond mere facts and information and begins to delve into the realm of more abstract thought. This type of communication involves a higher degree of thinking and a more thoughtful discussion. It tends to have the effect of stimulating one mentally and is, therefore, more pleasurable and memorable. Examples of level two may include: talking about a book or article that was recently read, a speech or sermon that was heard, or anything else that has to do with the opinions, philosophies and ideas of others.
Often, this type of communication is a common way to "test the waters" in a relationship. This is true even though one may not consciously be thinking about it. A level two type of discussion reveals much. Is my mate considerate and caring enough to engage in a conversation of something of interest to me? Is he/she also interested in the same topic? Can we enjoyably discuss things that are significant and meaningful? Is it safe to move forward with more personal ideas and information?
At other times the answers to the above questions may already be answered in the minds of a couple. In such cases, it is still very important to participate in level two discussions from time to time. Engaging one another on an intellectual level adds a depth and intensity to the relationship that is greatly beneficial.
Articles in this series:
Levels of Communication (Introduction)
Level One: Facts and Information
Level Two: Ideas of Others
Level Three: Your Own Ideas
Level Four: Personal Information
Level Five: Emotions and Needs
