Marital contentment is a virtue that is far too rare. [See previous article.] Certainly it is much easier to indulge in self pity and regret than it is to develop mental and emotional satisfaction in one's relationship. When considering this topic the common question that arises is "how can I become content in my marriage?"The Apostle Paul stated that he "learned" to be content (Philippians 4:11). The fact that he had to learn this principle tells us that it is not something that comes instinctively or naturally. If contentment were merely a feeling, it would not be something one needs to learn. It appears, therefore, that contentment is both a choice and a discipline. It involves commitment and determination. You will only be content in your marriage to the extent that you will yourself to do so.
A significant aspect of marital contentment is learning to avoid the seeds of discontent. Here are some tips to consider...
(1) Do not evaluate your marriage by comparing it to others. Scripture tells us that those who compare themselves to others are not wise (2 Corinthians 10:2). Nothing good can come of such comparisons because the perspective is always skewed and unrealistic. Such a mentality will also cause you to squander the opportunities that are present in your relationship.
(2) Shun coveting and envy. These are biblical vices that can destroy a marriage. In other words, you must avoid the all-too-natural inclination to desire the attainments or advantages of others. With respect to marriage, you must avoid the temptation to wish that your spouse was more like someone else or to desire some aspect of your relationship to be like that of your neighbors'.
(3) Adopt a simpler lifestyle. Complicated and stressful lives breed discontent. Sometimes we can get so busy that we do not stop to appreciate and enjoy what is right in front of us. When you are bombarded by external pressures it is not difficult for your unhappiness to carry over to the home. Do yourself a favor and relieve yourself of unnecessary obligations and commitments that weigh you down. You will enjoy your life and family more.
