Most people who first begin to use Facebook or other social networks find it fun and exciting to reconnect with people from their past. Long-lost friends and acquaintances such as former classmates, co-workers, neighbors, and others are amazingly easy to find literally just a few clicks away. Indeed, the popularity of Facebook is a tribute to the ease with which these types of social connections can be made – and the inexplicable satisfaction that they can bring.However, significant potential exists for social networking to negatively impact your marriage – or even destroy it. [See previous article.] The worst-case scenario for a marriage is when an online connection results in an inappropriate relationship. Even online relationships that never reach a point in which the two parties meet in person are fraught with problems and definitely harm marriages.
Infidelity takes three forms: emotional-only affairs, sexual-only affairs, and affairs that are both emotional and sexual. Marriage researchers have found that emotional-only affairs can be just as distressing to marital relationships as those that include a sexual component. Remaining faithful to your spouse is not merely a matter of refraining from sexual activity outside of the marriage. There is also an emotional/intimate exclusivity that must be honored and kept sacred for a marriage to be healthy, enduring, and successful.
Online relationships can certainly constitute emotional infidelity. There are three primary criteria that differentiate between a platonic friendship and an emotional affair: secrecy, emotional intimacy, and sexual attraction. A face-to-face meeting is not necessary for these criteria to be met. Betrayal can and does take place in cyberspace.
Even when an online connection does not technically reach the level of an emotional affair it can still be inappropriate and dangerous to one’s marriage. It is a serious problem when there is any secrecy at all involved with either the existence of an online connection or the nature of the communication. If the connection is with a person whom your spouse distrusts or is otherwise uncomfortable then the relationship is inappropriate regardless of the nature of the relationship or content of the communication.
